National Kill-Something-And-Wear-It Day

OK! I'm pissed off again. What the hell is with Uggs? You know, those freaking pseudo-boots with that furry stuff inside. First of all, they're not really boots. Boots are thick, brown, steel-toed, kickass pieces of footwear that real men wear when they are demolishing shit or pouring concrete. Secondly, who pays $64.99 for those god-damn things? Why do you need shoes with fur inside? This is not the frickin' Arctic Circle. And why pay companies to make them for you? (Not that I don't fully support Capitolism- It's the American way.) But whatever happened to shooting something for its fur? Too much work? It's not much easier to sit behind a desk for eight hours and shuffle papers around or carry dishes to pissed-off people like myself. Where's the satisfaction? Where's the fun? Contrary to popular belief, it is a lot of fun to shoot stuff. In accordance with such, I hereby declare November 28th to be National Kill-Something-And-Wear-It Day. Everyone should go out and buy a rifle right now. Or swords. Or throwing stars. Whatever works for you.

-The All-Powerful Scott