An Educational Essay on "The MAN"

This is my first post on The Angry Penguin, so forgive me if I ramble. Isn't that what you're supposed to do, though? What have you. I was recently conversing with a female friend of mine who did not know who The MAN was/is/will always be until everyone starts taking LSD. The MAN is any form of oppression or circumstance of people being "kept down." The MAN doesn't like liberals, because liberals consitute change. John Kerry, by the way, was by no means a liberal. It's kind of hard to be when you're a multi-millionaire. Anywho. The MAN is an establishment or culture of any sort which tries to get people to conform to its ways. And there used to be a way to Stick it to the MAN. And that was called Rock And Roll. But no. People don't want to stick it to the MAN anymore, because thats not cool. Anything that's cool is, by definition and association, the MAN. In this anti-intillectual, materialistic, hedonistic society we live in, there are very few "stickers-to-the-MAN." One can often see if another "sticks it" to the MAN by the: music he/she listens to; clothes he/she wears; and the philosophy he/she lives by. By the way, stickers usually aren't "shes," because girls are stupid and are only good for sex and food - not necessarily at seperate times - but that's a story for another day. The MAN nowadays is manifested in such things as Abercrombie & Fitch, Emo, Cops (as always), and Peter Santanello. These cultures/images/people will try to get others to join them in their march of conformity/political-correctness/academic-ass-rapage. Of course, there are many ways to stick it to the man, the most general and obvious of which are individuality and non-conformity. However, by definition, there cannot be an organized movement of stickers-to-the-MAN because then they become an arm of the MAN. And the MAN has many, many arms (the MAN's form of capitalism has developed in such a way that it can absorb or even incorporate any form of mass rebellion or resistance into itself. Clever, isn't it?). People stick it to the MAN in their own seperate ways, by wearing absurd clothing (like green pants), listening to outdated music (like classic rock), by keeping straight-edge, and by just being generally politically incorrect and awesome. So please, don't let the MAN keep you down. Be yourself. Don't take any shit from anybody. And if you're hot, have sex with me.

-The Eternally Hip Brendan