Truly We Are The Bearers Of Freedom
Just a few random (yet incredibly important) thoughts:
- You know that feeling you get when you finish a box of Kellogg's Frosted Mini Wheats and there's all that sugary, delicious debris at the bottom? And there's just about enough left for a bowl, but it's in the disintegrated, unusable form? How bad do you feel throwing out something so delicious, just because it's not whole anymore? Yeah, it's tough. We'll work through it together. You're welcome.
- We need to clone Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Single greatest president ever. He literally said, "Economic downturn? Fuck that!" He made that Great Depression his bitch. Not to mention the fact that he was just an all-around bad mothafucka. Bring him back to life, make him king of the world.
P.S. This is my greatest Paint masterpiece since the stingray. Click it for a heavy dose of Freedom. You're welcome.
- Good news, TAP lovers. Now you, too, can help to spread the good word of our greatness. possibly the greatest piece of clothing ever created, these high-quality shirts were created by myself. Not to mention the fact that they guarantee you insane amounts of ass. Really, it's astonishing, the level of women who will agree to have sex with you just because of this. However, if you are a woman who recognizes our greatness, please feel free to wear this. And then marry me. But anyway, you're welcome.
- There are several new up-and-coming blogs I would like to cite as true Penguin-quality nighas. Firstly, B Park's Random Ramblings. This man is a scholar and a gentleman, however, he will not hesitate to fuck some mothafuckas up. Secondly, the new view that will revolutionize sports and possibly all of Canada, SportBanter. It's just "ballin'" Although I'm not really sure what that means. Then, I must recommend Application Scientific. These guys singlehandedly saved my laptop and sanity. Well done, men. Finally, a site for all the true Ninjas out there, BeatBoxGiant, home of "Ask A Ninja". If you don't love this, I will be forced to destroy you. You're welcome.
- Let me say this: TAP deserves some sort of award. Look at the treasures we have brought to you over the years. Honor us and you will be recognized. You're welcome.
- The Honorable Scott Clayton
This is your new opinion, thanks to Scott
11 people should've kept to themselves:
I do not know if I have ever seen that much genius in one blog posting. Ever. Period. Long Live TAP.
--The incredibly well-endowed Pete
12/13/2006 1:44 PM
I don't like the cereal residue, myself. I have no qualms about discarding it. It offends me. I challenged it to a duel once but it didn't show up, proving the long disputed theory that cereal residue is, indeed, a pussy.
12/13/2006 2:38 PM
FDR did not entirely love freedom. He caved into Stalin's demands repeatedly, greatly expanded the government, and created that pinko social security system. Ronald Reagan was obviously the greatest, freedom-loving-est, President ever.
Bob "Stay the Course" Nuse
12/17/2006 3:19 PM
Good point Bob.
But I'd like to point out one thing.
Right here. Second paragraph, fourth sentence.
Who do you think taught Reagan everything he knew?
That's right. Big Frank.
12/17/2006 3:25 PM
I hate that stupid sugary dust.
I searched urbandictionary.com for the definition of "ballin'" and it had things like when a girl is giving you head and your balls slap her chin - that makes her to be ballin', dealing cocaine, being the shit at basketball, and to be rich as hell but still live in the ghetto because all you do with your money is buy expensive jewelry.
12/18/2006 4:26 PM
I imagine it to be all those things rolled into one, Shellie.
It makes me feel worthy to be ballin'!
12/19/2006 6:29 PM
$21 for a shirt?!
fuck that.
<3
12/31/2006 7:15 PM
Who the fuck said that?
ANSWER ME!
Do not hide under the guise of anonymity, you coward!
1/03/2007 4:16 PM
You are a faggot lover. You love them. You even admitted it. Go and have anal sex with David Bowie. No, better yet, have a blood orgy at a methlab downtown. You and your atheistic ass deserve to be fucked. You and your God-hating, ass-fucking kind will rot in hell. Fuck you.
BTW Freedom doesn't give permission to break the laws of God.
2/25/2007 11:44 PM
I love it when such a rant is incredibly factually inaccurate.
Firstly, Bowie is above sexuality. I keep trying to explain this to you.
Secondly, contrary to popular belief, the meth lab is uptown.
Thirdly, you used the acronym "btw" instead of "by the way". This automatically discounts anything you have to say. I'm sorry, I'd really love to listen, but I just find it hard to concentrate when you throw handicapped acronyms around like a douche.
Fourthly, your name is Steve Szem. You cry when people touch your food. You vomit at the mere smell of bubblegum. And you will never get a prom date so long as you keep making girls play that electrocution game. Also, you have, so far, successfully prevented the leak of any pictures of you onto the internet. Until now...
Steve performs the SSCCOOOOOUP!
Good day.
2/27/2007 5:12 PM
Owned.
3/17/2007 7:08 PM
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