"Celebrity Block"

I have a new idea for a reality show. I know, I dislike them as well, but mine will be better. It's called "Celebrity Block" and it follows the lives of certain celebrities as they do their time. Michael Jackson, Martha Stewart, Kobe Bryant, Lil' Kim, Courtney Love, Bill O'Reilly, Scott Peterson. We take you inside their cells, their prisonyards, their executions, to bring you quality home entertainment. As for getting cameras into the jails, I'm sure the government will comply. Jails don't really get alot of publicity these days. And for a small bribe, I'm sure we can get these celebs into a cell with some guy named Bubba from Arkansas who killed 19 goats and ate their flesh, or a black ex-prostitute named Sharonda who killed some white girl for standing on her corner. And with the cameras, you know the guards and other prisoners will play it up. The beatings will be even more brutal, the cavity searches will be even more inhumane, and the stabbings will be staged right in front of the cameras. What will really set the show apart, though, is the formation of two rival gangs. I think Bill O'Reilly and Martha Stewart will square off immediately. Bill will have Peterson and Kobe hurling insults at Democrats, while Martha shows MJ, Kim and Courtney Love how to make a throw rug out of pine cones and lint. Unfortunately I think that the O'Reilly Faction will win any fight-riots that break out. Come on, you have a cold-blooded killer, a 6"7" basketball player, and an sexual-harassment-prone Irishman against a drunken slut, a rapping slut, a Satanist homemaker, and a little boy in a half-plastic shell. My money's on the O'Reilly Faction. But you have to tune in to find out...



- "I'm Scott, and you're not"