To Be A Man Of Valor

So, it's been awhile, but we're still here. Don't worry.

I suggested to my friend Michael recently that he should grow a beard. He refused. So I present this list in the hopes he will change his mind:

Top 10 Reasons Michael Chilton Should Grow A Beard

10. It makes you look bad-ass. (Totally.)

9. Saves money on toiletries. (No need to shave.)

8. It keeps your face warm. (Especially important in these winter months.)

7. Why not? (Probably the best argument I've ever heard.)

6.Provide shelter for baby birds. (Or fully-grown birds if your beard is big enough.)

5. It will get you more Myspace friends. (This won't make sense until I tell you that Chilton has over 26,000 Myspace friends. That's a ridiculous number.)

4. Good place to store food. (Also important in the winter months.)

3. Lucrative pirating opportunities. (All pirates have beards.)

2. Wayne Gretzky did it. (Chilton plays hockey.)

1. If Chuck Norris has one, so should you.

Come on, Chilton. Grow a beard.

- The Beardless Yet Incredibly Rugged Scott Clayton