Ninjas and Pirates

Well, I am a busy man and cannot entertain you all the time, so here is one fantastic Penguin-Approved site, with which to keep yourself busy. Frankly, I like the guy.
Maddox


And also I found this interesting, yet equally ridiculous.

"Get Naked!"

Not that I am a fan of rap, but let me say this: the beauty of rap lies in the fact that you don't need any musical talent, you just need to be able to rhyme. Dr. Seuss could've been a rapper (or rappist) for Christ's sakes.

If we were to have a rap song, I think it would go a little something like this:

GET NAKED!

All ma' bitches and ho's get down on tha flo'
and get naked! get naked!

All those guys wit' da ho's get down on tha flo'
and get naked! get naked!

Now you ain't got no clothes, and yo' down on tha flo'
cuz yo' naked! yo' naked!

Lock all the doors cuz we down on tha flo'
and we naked! we naked!

Now grab a partner and get humpin'
E'erbody grab an ass and start bumpin'
Y'all gettin' crazy on the flo'
I can't take it no mo'
Now I'm naked, I'm naked!



So I think Will can lay down most of the lines, I might breakdance some, and we won't need any "music" because I'm pretty sure Brendan can beatbox the whole thing. We are available for birthdays, bat mitzvahs, and bachelorette parties. And if you tip well, we might even do a little freestyle.

-Funkmaster Scott and the Angry Penguins

Dis iz fo' real, peepz

(Formerly known as "This is for real, people")

Do you know what really pisses me off? (Besides MTV, emo, and vegetarians) Well as I sit here eating my bowl of Honey Smacks and reading random blogs, it occurs to me, once again, just how stupid people are. Why cannot anyone type in normal English? And I'm not talking about sensible abbreviation or typos. I'm talking about removing portions of words so that they only sort of resemble the word phonetically. For example;

iz = is
da = the
kewl = cool
itz = it's
peeps = people or friends
fo = for
dis = this
dat = that

Seriously, do you freaking idoits think that not typing one letter is actually saving you time? The 2 fucking seconds you saved by omitting that one f-ing letter is completely nullified by the fact that I have to spend 2.3 minutes frickin' deciphering your god-damn sentence! And furthermore, anyone who thinks that such idiocy makes them "sound hip" - it doesn't. It makes you sound like a fuckin' retard trying to play Boggle.

- Scott "Get Your Fucking Act Together" Clayton

Two more absurd things...

Yes... another absurd quiz. I don't know how I found it, but its not just "absurd" its ridiculously absurd.

The Naughty Heart Candy Quiz

After taking that quiz, and the one Brendan posted before it, a person might tell themselves "There's nothing more absurd or ridiculous than that"...

I'm sorry to ruin your dreams, but there is, in fact, something more absurd...

The Saga of Bloodninja

- Will the "Fuck me" Heart Candy

The Ultimate Hard-Rockin Band

Here are my candidates for the ultimate hard rock band:

Lead Guitar: Jimmy Page

Lead Vocals: Robert Plant

Bass Guitar: John Entwistle

Rhythm Guitar: Keith Richards

Drums: Keith Moon

Feel free to leave many comments about what you think would be the ultimate band, but keep in mind that this is not a list of people who were the best at what they did (i.e. Jimi Hendrix was the best guitarist; however, he was more of a one-man show, and John Lennon was the best songwriter of all time, but not necessarily the best singer, etc.)

-Brendan "Led Zeppelin Rocks My Socks" O'Connor

Possibly The Most Absurd Thing Ever

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You? - Quizilla this is obviously the most absurd thing ever. don't ask where i found it... my boredom has no bounds

--Brendan "The Goddess" O'Connor

Tsunami Disaster

All I would like to say at this time is that Asian people need to learn to freakin' swim. Honestly. It's just a wave, people! Let's get with the program here!!! Oh yeah, and Napoleon Dynamite is a freakin' sweet movie. Just gettin that out there.


--The Tsunami-Impervious Brendan